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Toadwater  |  Toadwater Inn  |  The Padded Cell  |  Topic: Flying Reindeer? 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Nicodemus
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« on: December 31, 2008, 08:55:04 pm »

I apologize, but someone sent this to me years ago and we got a laugh out of it then, so here it is.
I know by now it must be horribly outdated..  :Smiley

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Is There a Santa Claus?

1) No known species of reindeer can fly.  BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world.  BUT since Santa dosen't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau.  At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes.  One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).  This works out to 822.6 visits per second.  This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.  Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.   This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound.  For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle on earth the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element.  Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds),  the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.  On land, conventional reindeer (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.  We need 214,200 reindeer.  This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons.  Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecreafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere.  The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy.  Per second.  Each.  In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.  The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.  Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity.  A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
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Nicodemus
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« Reply #1 on: December 03, 2011, 04:43:11 am »

Since Christmas is on the minds of many a person these past several days, I felt the urge to bump this thread.
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iWhittle
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« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2011, 01:39:03 am »

loved it.  Grin
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Nicodemus
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« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2012, 12:50:10 pm »

Again, Christmas is neigh, and this has once again come to mind.

For those who have never seen this I hope it will add a little humor to your holiday season.
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LawEnforcement
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« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2012, 06:07:39 pm »

Haha wow, thats pretty crazy stuff right there. Who did all these calculations?
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Nicodemus
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« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2012, 07:43:07 pm »

The author is unknown.  Its an old calculations sheet given to me at Christmas, many years ago, in my high school math class.  Tongue
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Nicodemus
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« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2013, 02:06:04 am »

This is bumped for those who have not seen this yet.  Wishing everyone a merry one  Wink
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Travis
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« Reply #7 on: December 25, 2013, 07:04:19 am »

Very cool.
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Kincade
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« Reply #8 on: December 25, 2013, 01:05:54 pm »

Merry christmas
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Nicodemus
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« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2014, 02:52:57 pm »

Bump. 

Merry Christmas to those who acknowledge it.  Have a great day  Cool
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sathenist
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« Reply #10 on: December 26, 2014, 06:29:00 pm »

that is entertaining  Smiley
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Nicodemus
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« Reply #11 on: December 25, 2015, 04:59:22 pm »

Bumpety bump bump.  Have a merry one!
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Davlestor
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« Reply #12 on: December 25, 2015, 07:07:35 pm »

This explains why Santa never came to my household. He died!
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Santa Toad
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« Reply #13 on: December 25, 2015, 07:16:51 pm »

The news of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Ho ho ho.
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Nicodemus
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« Reply #14 on: December 25, 2020, 02:52:09 pm »

Bump
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